Today I chose to put my "smart" phone down and focus on my tired, nursing 12-month-old.
I focused on her full, warm cheeks; her slowing sucks and occasionally tremulous jaw; her fingers feeling around her favorite ribbon loops on her well-loved blankie; her firm, yet squishy thigh that fits just perfectly in my hand; her hair on the back of her neck getting the slightest bit damp as her neck rested against my forearm; her droopy eyelids that opened every so often as if to check that I was still there.
TODAY, I noticed. And my heart swelled with emotion.
Today, I chose to check on my quiet three-year-old as he lay still, yet awake, in his bed. Instead of smiling and waving as I turned to go have some "me" time-
I chose to get in bed with him and cuddle.
I smiled and brushed his long blond hair out of his eyes. I pulled up his favorite (though, now too short) blanket. I rubbed his back. I softly held his warm, pink cheek in my hand; and I watched his eyelids get so heavy they could no longer open. I felt his breath in my face. I listened to his off and on suck bursts on his pacifier until they stopped.
TODAY, I stayed. And my heart filled with emotion.
Today I chose to awaken my five-year-old girl from a very rare nap before the others awoke just so we could have some cuddle time.
Today, I chose to lift her body out of bed and carry her downstairs so I could hold her on my lap as I did when she was much younger. I stared into her big, brown eyes as they opened, and then closed and opened and closed again. I held her close and whispered, "Please don't ever get too big to cuddle with me!" I brushed her hair away from her face and traced the line on her face that marked her sleep. I squeezed a little harder. I waited for her thumb to come out of her mouth, and I saw her smile. We laughed, and giggled, and laughed some more.
TODAY, I was present and focused on her. And my heart overflowed with emotion.
What precious moments I was given. What precious hearts I was given to fill-for a few years anyway.
I am in awe of the intricacies of how we were created.
And I am humbled by how much more He loves us.
...Even when I don't make good choices.